Monday, March 7, 2016

Birthday break ~ well deserved

"Give yourself a break!"
"Don't be so hard on yourself."

These two phrases ~ I've heard too often lately. 
And then .... I go trying to explain that THIS is the good part.... So, it's ok.  Because.... Yeah yeah yeah....used to be.... Blah blah .... now i know....cause I figured it out!  Lemme show you.... 

But, I can't.... Cause I'm not quite there yet.  

And I haven't taken enough time to slow down and see that....  
Because time is tick tick ticking .... 
And I am running on fumes here.... 
And I can't be in the same place when my birthday hits.... 
I can't take more time to "get well" because I am well! 
I could get a job at Target now.... I can.  But, I need to prove that I can do what I can do.  I have to keep moving until I prove this.  I have to finish something.  I can't cross this finish line.... Hands in the air "eye LIVED THROUGH 38 YEARS OF THIS" style..... If I don't prove that I have something to offer.  I can't be a parasite again this year.... 

And.... Woah.... 
I don't want to be a parasite?  

Yeah, maybe I need to give myself a break. 
Maybe I should go a little easier on me.

And, I've got some clarity now.

I need to earn a living.  
I need to do certain things to LIVE.  
I need a roof (my own).
I need to keep moving on my projects
in the pace that suits me.... For health not for money.

And, guess who has a job?  And a roof! And a safe space to move ANY direction at ANY pace!  And ANY time!!!!

Me!  I got a job with an artist.... where I can use my skills and learn a whole bunch more!  And.... We have fun. ☺️

Roof wise ~ I'm covered at the moment. And, with a coupla options for "my own" to look at in the next few days.  

Also, I know I'm not a parasite.  And, I was being too hard on myself.

So, I'm gonna give myself a break.  
Happy Birthday week too me!  ☺️


Not proofing this one.  Break time.