Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Tonight...

... is a struggle. My anxiety is past the boiling point. So, my goal is to keep it from going over the edge. My next plan of attack is a bit of painting. And music. I am going to try to finish some projects that I have been putting off (because I have been kidding myself that I will have more time). I don't have any more time which is possibly why my anxiety is so big and ugly. So, this is some huge Opposite Action that I know WILL improve my mood... IF... I DO IT RIGHT! And, doing it right has absolutely NOTHING to do with if it "looks right". That is... if I do it right! ha! It is not as complex as I am making it sound. I tell ya, I think it will also be one of the most rewarding things I've done lately.

Headed that way!

Leslie,
Your Favorite Oxymoron!

Monday, January 28, 2013

It works I tell ya!

Just a quick note since I spent my allotted blog time setting up the ? and comment sections today. I do invite you to use them. For whatever. If you have a personal question for me... give it a shot. I may or may not be willing to tell you. But, if you just have a question about life or bugs or something I'll give you what I've got. No doubt about it!

I want to say thanks to all my friends and family around who are already hittin' the site up! I've got lots and lots of big stuff to come. I'm pretty sure that I couldn't be more excited...

Oh, and you know what?!?!? I slept last night! All through it! Like a baby. Woke up with my eyelashes bent all awkward again. (I hate that!) BUT, my point being that it was Sunday night (the night I stay awake fretting all night) and I feel like I'm running out of time. But, I put my life away last night. I stopped to take care of myself. I literally turned the volume in my mind down. The "noise" still there but faint. Kinda like when you hear the lawn mower outside your window. My mind created its own personal white noise machine. Ha.

Sleep has always been important in my life. Sometimes too important. Sometimes an escape. At times I've also run from sleep. I somehow came up with the idea that if I stopped I was quitting. And sleeping is definitely slowing down if not stopping... And, the act of sleep is leaving myself very vulnerable to outside and inside elements.

Anyway, I guess I just wanted to share my itty bitty success with you. I was feeling burdened and I was pushing myself too hard and then I had a chance to do some Opposite Action and I came out a winner! Ahhh... I'm about to win again here pretty soon.

Alrighty then, my eyes are pretty much closed already and this computer, Before I turn into a donkey at midnight. And... that last part is what happens when I am so tired I am delirious... I thought it was too funny to delete though! hahaha! Oh yeah and "quick note" my butt! I wonder if I will ever do anything quickly? :-P

Warmly,

Leslie,
Your Favorite Oxymoron!

Sunday, January 27, 2013

And here we go... again!

Yep. I must admit that this here time-o-da-week sneaks up on me and causes a shock to my system EVERY SINGLE TIME! It doesn't matter how productive my weekend was or what kind of week I have ahead of me even. My body just doesn't like it! Or maybe I just trained it all too well... to fear. I can be very persuasive. ;-) I just can't get why now it is refusing to listen to me. Anybody?

Well, I would love to wait and see what y'all say... But, ugh! I've got to get ready for bed. And the bummer is that I'm sure I will be just as restless as ever tonight... Gotta do it though! It is the right thing to do, for me, I know.

Good night all!

Leslie,
Your Favorite Oxymoron

Friday, January 25, 2013

Here I GO!!!

Hey everybody!!! It's me, Leslie! AND... My final opposite action for the day (the Friday of what was possibly the hardest week of my life) is to FINALLY start this blog! This also means that I must post my very first post here without planning exactly what I want to say for SEVERAL hours and then chickening out... again. So, for those of you who don't know me, I shall begin to introduce myself.

My name is Leslie and I have no middle name. I am a 34 year old, single, white, female who lives for a great pair of high heels AND the smell of fresh manure in the morning (only if I am at the barn!). I love to learn but absolutely can't stand school! I can work all day in the Texas sun, hauling hay bales, tilling up the dirt, pounding in fence posts and working up a sweat, BUT believe you me, you would have to drag me kicking and screaming to get me in the gym doing the same (or pretty much any) workout. It has happened many many times that someone new(ish) in my life might be talking to me and not realize it's me until I laugh. I am somewhat of a chameleon. I have been known to refer to myself as "an actual oxymoron".

Here in this blog, I would like to share some of my story. It is a long and twisted road and I don't need to get into all the gory details to tell it. So, right this very minute, I am in the process of building a life worth living and I would love to take you out on the job site and show you how I am doing it.

Warmly,

Leslie,
Your Favorite Oxymoron