the way eye see it...

Lots of people ask me "WHY?"

with a look i can't quite describe in their eyes... 

amused? aloof? 

no, probably just confused....

I GET IT!  It is confusing to see the world through my eyes. But 

see what you think of this...Whether it's at 
the time of pick up/collection -what ever you want to call it... 

or during the cleaning/sorting of it (the littler I've collected off streets and parking lots around my hometown)...

These things -they speak to me.
This one with a little help from a highly inspirational Post-it TV commercial....

Coupla things this randomly twisted piece of scrap metal/litter off the street AND a very inspiring Post-it commercial remind me...
-every single time I try---> I am getting closer to the goal
-one is 42% more likely to do something if one writes it down...(oh,I can't tell you how many times my dad tried to get me to "write my notes after class for better retention"... he was a pusher of good study tips which I promptly disregarded).
-jumping is fun. jk.. not really... hehehe

ok.  we shall see what comes next...
Have a good one!
Your Favorite Oxymoron.... Leslie Cooper 

Tearin' it up...

Been arting up a storm lately. Actually, its pretty much the only thing i do besides work and physical therapy for what feels like a loooong time now (*and still doing "regular" therapy every other week-ish).

In early August, somewhere between work and street walking (hahahaha jk! although i did call it something like that once... you know how i get with words... oh dear the looks i get from people.)
oh yeah -> So, between my job and my trash/litter/road hazard-picking habit SOMETHING in my left leg BROKE! I woke up one morning and the little pull/tug i'd felt the previous days had swelled up my whole dang leg! I couldn't bend my knee and the pain was excruciating.

Turns out I had partially torn the medial head of my gastrocnemius. (It's name comes from the shape... the bulging calf muscle looks like a stomach. Ha!)  I got a lovely knee high bootie (hehe) to lug around until further notice. Rest was prescribed.

Now, it's not like I normally do much of anything.  I'd kind of re-hermit-ized after my dad died.  Cocooned by grief... asleep... a part of me hibernating while I kept trying to move forward through my daily life.  But, lots of time at home with restricted movement... Alone with restricted movement?  That's not necessarily where I thrive.  After a long day lugging the orthopedic boot around though...  I was sooo exhausted i had no choice!

Eventually the pain lessened, and I wasn't completely wiped out after clocking out.  So, off to physical therapy I go.  And, thats where things started to move in me again.

Moving right along...
Your favorite Oxymoron,
Les

**to see pictures of some works-in-progress... https://instagram.com/p/BqOlDAknMRM/

so much.

Coming back together
again...
just like the first time.

REmembering what I've learned.
REcalling...
REcollecting...
Reconnecting the dots.

Stringing back together
untangling the yarns
weaving old with new...
inspiration.
i see double.

REflected ...
and bemused.
my muse...
i am
myself

reVived
again

round 'n round
circle dot

❤️les



Its been a long time... haven't quite known how to make my comeback to the blogOsphere.  That’s a word right? but antyhoo...  I have no clue how things will flow here but I’d like to give it another shot.
So much has happened. So much has changed... although sometimes it seems everything stays the same.  so cracy...

I lost my dad.  It happened on Thanksgiving of 2016.  And worlds crumbled. It was sudden and drawn out at the same time... Such a major loss for our family... a huge hole in my life.  Oh how my heart still aches as i type this.  He was a GREAT man.  A kind and loving father.  He gave me life and saved my life a few times.  I deeply miss him.  And, he's still with me all the time...

Unloading purposefully

Sometimes I get soooooo mad soooo angry -boiling with rage.... that I DO forget how scary it is. 

How no one EVER REALLY KNOWS (for sure) if I will stop with just yelling and slamming things around.

Because at those times.... 

If I had a gun in my hand???

There is no doubt it would be going off!
At SOMETHING... At anything.
That is the thing.  

If you are OUT OF CONTROL....
It doesn't matter what you've got.

The shrapnel flys.... No stopping it.

And when I'm mad 

-i want it to hurt-

but ONLY because... I forgot what I know.

Not because I've changed my mind about how much I love you.  

But, because I forgot to "shoot" this out beforehand.

I forgot to unload the gun before I came in.  

And in the moments of madness 

-i really don't know me.  

Because I can't even see straight! And, I couldn't aim if I tried!  

So.... My goal is to FOCUS in my moments with other humans.  Especially my loved ones.

And to FOCUS my energy on things that are effective for me.  

Like making noise (singing) and moving (dancing) and making lots of messes (art).

If i don't make a mess on purpose.... I'm gonna make a mess accidentally.

ready to unload!😜

Your faveOxymoron ❤️les

PS I still owe apologies…

this is why i pick up trash and try to create beauty

Self portrait 2012 ~ Leslie Cooper

at Clearview Womens Treatment Center~

Art Therapy with Marlene Frantz (thank you!)

i fought calling myself an artist...

i fight to CALL myself an artist.

but, the idea is still a joke (to me) and

it starts the bile a churnin'.

when i am working.... i can forget. 

so.... i work ~ all the time.

and~ 

The Broken ~ LiVES /lIVZ/

i am proof.

*art and accessories made from litter... trash i collect off the streets where i live. 

*10% of every sale will be donated to Foundation 45.  https://www.facebook.com/foundation45help/

#suicide #prevention

#mentalHealth

Online sales to begin soon! 

❤️les

~your favorite oxymoron

May is Mental Health Awareness month!

May is Mental Health Awareness month!  

And I think it's apropos....

Because it was this very month 

~ i became AWARE of MY (VERY OWN) MENTAL HEALTH!!!!

i can say with pride and satisfaction that 

i saught Mental HEALTH....

and then i caught it.... that son of a gun. 

And now ~this month of May ~2016

~ living at home w/ my parents again..... 

~working for my dad again.....

~in some (minor) debt again.....

I've got nuthin really to show for anything!

Nothing tangible or of much "monetary worth" ... I own nothing. 

But, after SO MANY YEARS

~ thousands of hours and probably ~MILLIONS of dollars!!!!

~on therapy and the other fun and costly accessories of .... what do we call it now?   MENTAL iLLNESS.  (I've been pretty busy the past several years...😏)

THIS MONTH 

~ i completed something HUGE!!!

Because 

~ i have learned how to be 

~at home with ~ mySelf.  

(And I've discovered some pretty cool things about me ~while I was at it. 🙀)

Wow!  What a month!  What a life....

Happy Mental Health Awareness month to me!  And, if you can't say the same.... Know you ARE NOT ALONE! And there is sooooo much to hope for.

So.... Keep an out! 😜i got some good stuff up my sleeve....  Who NOSE 👃🏼 what's next?!?!?!?!  

Comfort and joy~

❤️les

Your Favorite Oxymoron  

Birthday break ~ well deserved

"Give yourself a break!"

"Don't be so hard on yourself."

These two phrases ~ I've heard too often lately. 

And then .... I go trying to explain that THIS is the good part.... So, it's ok.  Because.... Yeah yeah yeah....used to be.... Blah blah .... now i know....cause I figured it out!  Lemme show you.... 

But, I can't.... Cause I'm not quite there yet.  

And I haven't taken enough time to slow down and see that....  

Because time is tick tick ticking .... 

And I am running on fumes here.... 

And I can't be in the same place when my birthday hits.... 

I can't take more time to "get well" because I am well! 

I could get a job at Target now.... I can.  But, I need to prove that I can do what I can do.  I have to keep moving until I prove this.  I have to finish something.  I can't cross this finish line.... Hands in the air "eye LIVED THROUGH 38 YEARS OF THIS" style..... If I don't prove that I have something to offer.  I can't be a parasite again this year.... 

And.... Woah.... 

I don't want to be a parasite?  

Yeah, maybe I need to give myself a break. 

Maybe I should go a little easier on me.

And, I've got some clarity now.

I need to earn a living.  

I need to do certain things to LIVE.  

I need a roof (my own).

I need to keep moving on my projects

in the pace that suits me.... For health not for money.

And, guess who has a job?  And a roof! And a safe space to move ANY direction at ANY pace!  And ANY time!!!!

Me!  I got a job with an artist.... where I can use my skills and learn a whole bunch more!  And.... We have fun. ☺️

Roof wise ~ I'm covered at the moment. And, with a coupla options for "my own" to look at in the next few days.  

Also, I know I'm not a parasite.  And, I was being too hard on myself.

So, I'm gonna give myself a break.  

Happy Birthday week too me!  ☺️

❤️les

Not proofing this one.  Break time.