So.... here we are.... It's 2016!

And, I've already accomplished some (SERIOUS) procrastination!  And, we already know, when I do things.... I do them hard. 

SO, that's why I'm not gonna shame myself into waiting another minute.  I will start this new year with a post on my old (neglected) blog.  I do not have to have my next (new) big thing ready and waiting.... 

I can handle the space . . . .  between  . . . .   
now . . . .   

I can handle the quiet. 
The waiting. 

I don't have to let fear paralyze me before I get my foot out the door.  

I can utilize each moment.  
The chaotic.
The calm.

I do not believe fear is overrated.  
Fear saved my life many times.
Fight and flight .... each in several ways.
(I know those responses will go off without a hitch when needed.)

AND....
Today, I'm gonna go out on a limb.
Today, I'm gonna go far out man. 
Today, I'm sharing with you, what I'm aiming for....

January 1, 2016

I am setting a goal.... two actually!!!!  

1.   I will publish a book in 2016.   (I'm working on several things.... SOMETHING will be in print in time for Christmas gifting 2016.)  

2.   The next New Year's Eve that comes around.... I will be preforming for the public.... on purpose! (Still overcoming some incredibly ginormously uncomfortable stage fright.... AND working on writing some songs!) 


So, there it is.  It looks really crazy.... And, I guess it is.  
I am just trying to aim all that crazy in the right direction.  
I am learning how to make my "crazy" work for me.  
AND FOR OTHERS!  
I've got lots to share!

Happy New Year!  That last one was sumthin else!  Wasn't it?  

Warmly,
Leslie Cooper ~ Your Favorite Oxymoron

Soylent Green! It's PEOPLE!!!

I have no idea how that title relates to this post... aside from the fact that I have been drawing some "people"... I think they are... "my people"... Sounds very science fiction-y/futuristic(?). ;-) I guess.  Maybe that is the relation?  (Soylent Green is an awesome movie by the way!)

Here be de peeps!

When You're Hot, You're Hot (soft pastel) 7/3/13

They are all named after songs so far... Although the songs have always come during the cropping of the pictures so they really have nothing to do with the creation of the drawing.  But, I thought you all should experience the songs that now sing along with them. :-) 

So... here is Jerry Reed singin' her song... When You're Hot, You're Hot

And now... The Archies singing... Sugar Sugar (i'm gonna make your life so sweet!)

Candy Girl (soft pastel) 7/3/13

I have one more. AND... I haven't quite decided if it's finished yet... look for it and possibly more (???) in the future!  Hahahah!  Future... I crack myself up.  Haha...

Hope everyone had a fabulous 4th!  The sheep and I were a little under the weather yesterday.  Today? Today I am just tired. They are about the same but I believe I have had a lightbulb about them!  Anyway, I am looking forward to working on the door decoration that my mom asked me to help with for her Vacation Bible School (VBS) class that starts Monday.  And, I have a very important art therapy assignment that I am looking forward to working on.  

Be careful out there!  It is a holiday weekend so keep you eyes OPEN on the roads.  Alright? Alright.  

Leslie Cooper,

Your Favorite Oxymoron ;-)

P.S.  I just named the "collection" (ain't that fancy???) Soylent Green! It is my first "collection" and for some reason that whole syfy theme fits with "my (alien) people" in appearance and in my own "alien" existence... berry berry eeeeenteresting...

I have 27 "almost finished" drafts in the lineup...

It seems that at least one person noticed... Okay, I'll take that back! Only one person called me out on it. I have an idea a few others will give me "some feedback" during our next converstations.

Why did I have to go and make an "Any Questions???" section on my site anyway??? Here was the Question for today: 

Why haven't I heard from you in a while? I haven't had anything good to read. Are you hiding? lol

(Oh and thanks, RD, for the addition of a compliment! Very wise of you! Hahaha)

The ANSWER??? That is a tough one. I am obviously struggling. I am obviously ashamed that I am STILL struggling.  

There is this song. I heard it first from Willie Nelson, but it was written by Paul Simon. It turns out many (many many) other artist have covered the song as well. It is a song I have wept with or to or because of and sometimes I've just listened to it when I knew I needed a good cry. It gives perspective. Perspective that EVERYONE has something to struggle with. The events in the recent past and most likely in the near future (as we are under a Tornado Warning right now)... remind me how much pain there is in this world. How much loss. Loss. Loss... It pains me just to type the word. Everyone experiences loss. The next step? That is the key! What do you do with the pain? What do you do with the empty space? Where do you go next? Who do you turn to?  

We ALL need community! You can't stand alone! In my Faith, I am forever blessed to have someone by my side. BUT!!! Even as I say that... I want to emphasize that (even my God wants this for me), COMMUNITY IS NECESSARY! Hiding or avoiding community is not a step towards ending the pain. You know what else is necessary? ASKING FOR HELP from your community AND if you don't yet have the "community"?  It's time to start building your own! And, RESTING when you are weak or weary is NECESSARY! That is on of the reasons we NEED community. We need people to call on when we are too weak or too lost! AND... Guess what? We need to be held accountable to others.  Treat ourselves as we would treat others as well as treating others the way you would want to be treated!  

So, yes. I let myself be swallowed up in LOSS. It is a deep place to get out of and takes more energy than I have at times. But, I am still working on it.  

And... My name is Leslie and I go off on tangents sometimes... But, that is why I haven't been finishing posts lately. I am not going to read this again until it is posted.  Otherwise... It could take another nudge before I post. Re-read once!  Going to try and limit myself from going over and over and over again!  Maybe I should just have y'all edit me? Just kidding!  I realize the time involved in that project! Hahaha! I am hopeful that this will get me back in the game!

Oh! And, the song I was referring to earlier! It is a beautiful song. A powerful song.  

I have links for a couple of the artists who have covered it... Amazing to hear the difference between each of them.

Simon & Garfunkel ~ American Tune

Paul Simon ~ American Tune

Willie Nelson w/ Paul Simon on guitar ~ American Tune

Indigo Girls ~ American Tune

Eva Cassity ~ American Tune

Darrell Scott ~ American Tune

Crooked Still ~ American Tune

Curtis Stigers ~ American Tune

Dave Matthews ~ American Tune

Anastasia Barzee ~ American Tune

Glen Phillips ~ American Tune

Storyhill ~ American Tune

Kurt Elling & Metropole Orchestra ~ American Tune

So... that might be more than a couple of versions? And a tiny bit of obsessive-ness showing... Anyway, praying for all of the LOSS being experienced these days. It seems like more all the time...

Next step? Shower and Therapy! Rain shower... and sheepish tornado preparation! Thank the Lord I didn't need to know what I was doing!!!

Good to visit again.

Your Favorite Oxymoron,

Leslie

Better Get to Livin' (warning: lots of repeating myself for dramatic effect AND !!!'s)

What do you do when your life is so far from being where or how you want it, that you don't even know what "it" would look like if you were there??? Well, I can tell you what you shouldn't do! NOTHING... Cause nuthin' never got nobody nowhere!!! And I know all about that. :-/

I have a fine example for you. Let's go for a walk down ole' Memory Lane...

Once upon a time in a land Ahh, forget it! I guess it's more like Sedentary Street AND I am just now packing(?) or unpacking(?). Who knows? So many double negatives and the like I am gettin' CORN-fused! Anyway, I have been "temporarily" residing in my parents home for over two years now. (Yes, I said OVER TWO years. Oh, yes. I did...) The thing is, when I moved my boxes and my body into their house I forgot to pack my spirit. Probably because it had been beaten down for so long (I contributed to that, a smidge) that I thought it was trash and I dumped it.

Since "the move", I have literally been living out of boxes. Living - Out - Of - Boxes!!! But really, why would I unpack? I mean, it is NOT where a girl wants to live on her 33rd birthday! LET ALONE HER 35th!

So now, over two years have passed. I can't tell you nothing has changed. Things have changed! But, I still wasn't satisfied. And therefore, the way I spent my time didn't change. I still spent my time dwelling on the past or worrying about the future or other people and their problems and how I could help or how I could ignore or how I could have or should have blah blah blah! And I hid, behind people and things and situations and even sheep - whatever! And, for a long long time I wasn't even inching forward.

Just because I am not where I "wanted" to be at this point in my life or because I am "behind" in the race of life does NOT mean I stop living! In fact, the opposite should be true! (Wink wink.) Don't ya see?

I don't want to continue "residing" here, in this house, and I do NOT want to continue camping out mentally either. And yet I do reside here right this moment with my loving and supportive parents. What an opportunity! So, here's the deal, if I'm living in the moment AND preparing for my future there is no waiting until it looks and feels like I think it should. I've got to work and build that life worth living. And THIS moment, right now, I am making a commitment to myself that I won't stop. Even when the process seems futile. Even if I get hit by a tornado or two. I will pick myself up and collect the broken pieces and make something beautiful from them. And, while I reside in this house I am going to LIVE in this house. It will be like I am setting up a model for my future. Let's see what works! Let's take advantage of every moment and practice what works and change what doesn't. Otherwise I won't really know what the life I want looks and feels like. Will I now?

I'm starting out VERY simply... This is a corner of my "Big Room". Which is really the attic over the three car garage. And it is a great space for me! I've just got to use it. Which... I am!

I set up this little artistic space in the corner. That is my dad's 1st drafting table that he got in 10th grade! I hung some of my favorite art work I have done and one AWFUL attempt that might just be my favorite because of that very fact. haha. I wrapped a bunch of scraps from yarns I've spun around a broomstick and put it in the corner. I really like that for some reason... And, one of my very favorite possessions is getting some use again... my fantabulous gold velvet couch!!! I know... its quite a start... Who "nose" where this might lead??? ;-)

One more thing... Good ole' Dolly Parton has a song that summarizes this pretty well. It is called "Better Get To Livin"... how bout that? And, I tell you what, you should really watch this music viedo. As if Dolly wasn't enough of a character she recruited Amy Sedaris (one of my all time favorite famous people. both of these ladies actually!) to help out! What a couple of nuts! Like the best kind of nuts!

I'm Alive!

I'm writing this post on the fly this morning... And, I'm writing it because the last time I was frantic and I wrote a post it helped. Big time! Oh maaaaaaan!!! Now, I am wanting to figure out why it helped so much! Ok, so... I am going to "shelve" that topic since it wouldn't be effective to think about it now. And... it's shelved.
:-P

Today will be my first day back in the office (during office hours, aka. when people are there.) SINCE 10/11/12. I will go more into the reasons why in a later post, when I have time to sit and contemplate my words. This post is reserved for going back. Now, most people probably know how it feels to go back to work after a few sick days. Right? Does anyone ever feel like people are judging them about "WHY?" they actually took the days off and have a tinge of guilt or shame about whether they were actually sick enough to NOT come in to the office OR if they really just wanted a day off? Whew! Let me catch my breath... Ok, so, does anyone know what I'm talking about? I have a feeling I am not alone here... But, a lot of times I am on a different "train" than most...

Well, my experience here, today, is causing a lot of shame to want to erupt... right on out of my mouth... And, I left all my buckets at the barn!

Anxiety is a KILLER! A killer of spirit and action.

And today, I MUST FIGHT BACK!

And today, I will celebrate the fact that I'm ALIVE!

I have a good job. I have a great family! I have my sheeps! I have a Holy Father! I have supportive friends! I have a future! I have goals and hopes and dreams!

I am going to "Opposite Action" my way right through that door as if no event or lack there of has happened between today and 10/11/12.

WOO HOO! Look at me all amped up to go to work! Hahaha! This bloggy thing is working already! ;-)

I do want to leave you on this blog today... with a song. I played this song over and over and over again the week I was planning to come back to Texas. And, I played this song for some of my friends and some of the ladies who helped me get to the point where I COULD ACTUALLY SING THIS SONG AND MEAN IT!!!

The song is titled "I'm Alive", and it moves me so to hear Willie Nelson sing it. I hope you will stop and listen to it too. My wish for everyone who reads this blog is, that you too can sing this song, and MEAN IT, with Willie and ME .

Here it is on Youtube:


With hope,

Leslie,
Your Favorite Oxymoron <3