Who's your best friend?

Here at the NAMI National Convention I have seen a few therapy dogs.  I met one named Max (I believe) yesterday after a fantastic workshop.  He had been sitting quietly behind me the whole time.  Afterward, I asked the lady who he companioned if I could pet the precious pup.  And, I immediately fell in love... At one point when I took my hand back (because I needed it to talk! ha!) I looked back down and I saw the pup looking up at me.  It was a look I couldn't really describe but it has stayed with me.  So, I drew it...

I love a happy mistake! I got to make this cool collage!

After I finished the drawing I thought maybe, just maybe, it was a symbol of my experience at this conference.

I saw this pup and the pup saw me.  We connected.  We shared something.  I'd love to see him again... (be his Facebook friend?  Sorry, you know how I get when I'm uncomfortable.) Ok, seriously! (the ! was for me! and I'll get back to that!!! soon!!! ok... maybe next post!  gotta hurry now!!!)

So, this experience?  I have made wonderful connections.  I have met fabulous people!  I have connected and shared and would love to see and work with these people again!  Maybe I have met some new best friends?  Maybe I have seen my future somewhere in all of it?  Maybe I have been touched???  I know I have been touched.  And, I hope to spread the love.  I hope you feel it.  I can't wait to tell you more.  Now?  I need to change clothes and head to my last session.

Thank you for reading.  I really want to connect.

Gratefully,
Leslie,
Your Favorite Oxymoron

What is your highest level of education?

Q: What is your highest level of education?
A: Well, I have just completed my 35th year of living as a human, on Earth! You?

So... seriously, I know this question has shamed many people over the years. At least as long as formal education has existed... maybe before... I mean, I've even been side-shamed by this one! I once had a boyfriend tell me in an argument (trying to hurt my feelings...) that some girl had said to him, "She didn't even go to college!"

This particular insult never really bothered me. I know that I am an intelligent human being. I know that if I am interested in something I want to soak up every bit of information there is possible to discover about said interest! If I am not interested in something? Well, it's kinda like that something doesn't exist... not always a good thing. I did NOT do well in school. EVER. I barely made it through 2nd grade let alone high school... And, on my Facebook page, you will find "Napping" under the "What did you study in college?" column. I totally mastered that by the way!
Now, (serious again) you won't ever catch me saying that I have always made sound, thoughtful or brilliant choices... every time. That is a whole nuther story! But, college??? I don't have any desire to go and pay for the kind of torture school was for me... EVER AGAIN!

My school of choice? The School of Life! And, I can tell you I have learned some hard lessons. And it's a real good thing I had a chance to repeat some courses! Several times... Biggest lessons so far? Well, I'm glad you asked!

Lesson 1: Every action has a reaction. Everything that happens should have happened considering the circumstances proceeding it. (THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT I AGREE WITH EVERY HAPPENING!!!)

Lesson 2: I have a choice. I make choices that will alter my future. No matter the burden I feel to make a particular choice, I still have the power to choose.

Lesson 3: The exact reaction to my choice will be dependent on all choices all around the world at that moment and any moments preceding and proceeding my choice AND therefore I cannot predict my future. Neither can you! ;-)

My goal is to somehow make my circumstances work for me and to do the best I can with whatever comes next. I can't turn around and change ANYTHING! I can take my experience and make a new choice! My future holds so many possibilities. Possibilities beyond my comprehension! The exciting (and super scary) part is how each decision or choice or action I take, will continue to shape me. And, that is freedom. It will take hard work and guts! AND, I am worth it!!!

This past year, I began to appreciate the things in my life that make it more livable. In turn, I am living a lot more lovable life.

In no particular order, here are some things I would like to keep in my life or learn during the next and hardest "level of education" thus far...

~ continued learning and growth in my farming... I love me sheeps!
~ close relationships with my family that aren't "too close" a.k.a. "dependent on"
~ development of healthy relationships with those of you out there who are not genetically bound to me...
~ develop my yoga practice and find a schedule that meets (most of) my needs
~ ART EVERY DAY!!! art without judgment! experimental art! art with every emotion! art with "useless" objects! art to soothe myself. art to express myself. art with my niece, Little Lu
~ make yarn! find unusual fun things to do with wool/yarn!
~ to refuse to lie to myself and others about my needs, wants, goals or anything about ME!
~ to be aware of judgments and NOT let them rule me or any part of my life
~ to have a servants heart. to trust my Shepherd and trust His plan.
~ to be mindful
~ to enjoy every ounce of every moment possible!
~ to like myself, learn from myself, to live like someone I would like to learn from!!!
~ to break the rules I have suffocated myself with AND break the rules of having to be "normal" ~for whatever those are worth anyway!
~ stick to my values and morals even at great cost of looking (in some eyes) or feeling (in my own dad-gum head!) foolish
~ say stuff like "dad-gum!" and "boy-howdy!"
~ have a favorite bug! or a tie between two! aka. praying mantis & cicada... not locust... google... ;-)
~ continued expression of ME to YOU on this blog which I hope is a tiny bit helpful (every little bit counts!)
~ to forgive myself
~ to never give up
~ I want to show gratitude and to GIVE BACK!
~ I want to experience things that are in front of me AND beyond me!

And, I want to continue mastering the art of being me! There are four words I've found that pretty much sum it all up... **Remember most words have multiple meanings. I look forward to telling you more about what each of these means to me. :-)
~ DRAW ~ FARM ~ SPIN ~ LIVE ~

So, happy birthday to me! And happy day to you! Hope to see you around...





Warmly,
Leslie,
Your Favorite Oxymoron

*BONUS FUNNY FACE SHOTS!!!*


*BONUS SHEEPY PICS!*

Better Get to Livin' (warning: lots of repeating myself for dramatic effect AND !!!'s)

What do you do when your life is so far from being where or how you want it, that you don't even know what "it" would look like if you were there??? Well, I can tell you what you shouldn't do! NOTHING... Cause nuthin' never got nobody nowhere!!! And I know all about that. :-/

I have a fine example for you. Let's go for a walk down ole' Memory Lane...

Once upon a time in a land Ahh, forget it! I guess it's more like Sedentary Street AND I am just now packing(?) or unpacking(?). Who knows? So many double negatives and the like I am gettin' CORN-fused! Anyway, I have been "temporarily" residing in my parents home for over two years now. (Yes, I said OVER TWO years. Oh, yes. I did...) The thing is, when I moved my boxes and my body into their house I forgot to pack my spirit. Probably because it had been beaten down for so long (I contributed to that, a smidge) that I thought it was trash and I dumped it.

Since "the move", I have literally been living out of boxes. Living - Out - Of - Boxes!!! But really, why would I unpack? I mean, it is NOT where a girl wants to live on her 33rd birthday! LET ALONE HER 35th!

So now, over two years have passed. I can't tell you nothing has changed. Things have changed! But, I still wasn't satisfied. And therefore, the way I spent my time didn't change. I still spent my time dwelling on the past or worrying about the future or other people and their problems and how I could help or how I could ignore or how I could have or should have blah blah blah! And I hid, behind people and things and situations and even sheep - whatever! And, for a long long time I wasn't even inching forward.

Just because I am not where I "wanted" to be at this point in my life or because I am "behind" in the race of life does NOT mean I stop living! In fact, the opposite should be true! (Wink wink.) Don't ya see?

I don't want to continue "residing" here, in this house, and I do NOT want to continue camping out mentally either. And yet I do reside here right this moment with my loving and supportive parents. What an opportunity! So, here's the deal, if I'm living in the moment AND preparing for my future there is no waiting until it looks and feels like I think it should. I've got to work and build that life worth living. And THIS moment, right now, I am making a commitment to myself that I won't stop. Even when the process seems futile. Even if I get hit by a tornado or two. I will pick myself up and collect the broken pieces and make something beautiful from them. And, while I reside in this house I am going to LIVE in this house. It will be like I am setting up a model for my future. Let's see what works! Let's take advantage of every moment and practice what works and change what doesn't. Otherwise I won't really know what the life I want looks and feels like. Will I now?

I'm starting out VERY simply... This is a corner of my "Big Room". Which is really the attic over the three car garage. And it is a great space for me! I've just got to use it. Which... I am!

I set up this little artistic space in the corner. That is my dad's 1st drafting table that he got in 10th grade! I hung some of my favorite art work I have done and one AWFUL attempt that might just be my favorite because of that very fact. haha. I wrapped a bunch of scraps from yarns I've spun around a broomstick and put it in the corner. I really like that for some reason... And, one of my very favorite possessions is getting some use again... my fantabulous gold velvet couch!!! I know... its quite a start... Who "nose" where this might lead??? ;-)

One more thing... Good ole' Dolly Parton has a song that summarizes this pretty well. It is called "Better Get To Livin"... how bout that? And, I tell you what, you should really watch this music viedo. As if Dolly wasn't enough of a character she recruited Amy Sedaris (one of my all time favorite famous people. both of these ladies actually!) to help out! What a couple of nuts! Like the best kind of nuts!