I'll be back soon!!!

Lots of HUGE things in the works!!!   Just wanted to shout out "what what" to my peeps and let you know things are moving right a long...  And, I'll get something together (in the next coupla days) to summarize what's been going on.

Hugs and love to ALL!!!

Your Favorite Oxymoron...  Leslie Cooper!

Who's your best friend?

Here at the NAMI National Convention I have seen a few therapy dogs.  I met one named Max (I believe) yesterday after a fantastic workshop.  He had been sitting quietly behind me the whole time.  Afterward, I asked the lady who he companioned if I could pet the precious pup.  And, I immediately fell in love... At one point when I took my hand back (because I needed it to talk! ha!) I looked back down and I saw the pup looking up at me.  It was a look I couldn't really describe but it has stayed with me.  So, I drew it...

I love a happy mistake! I got to make this cool collage!

After I finished the drawing I thought maybe, just maybe, it was a symbol of my experience at this conference.

I saw this pup and the pup saw me.  We connected.  We shared something.  I'd love to see him again... (be his Facebook friend?  Sorry, you know how I get when I'm uncomfortable.) Ok, seriously! (the ! was for me! and I'll get back to that!!! soon!!! ok... maybe next post!  gotta hurry now!!!)

So, this experience?  I have made wonderful connections.  I have met fabulous people!  I have connected and shared and would love to see and work with these people again!  Maybe I have met some new best friends?  Maybe I have seen my future somewhere in all of it?  Maybe I have been touched???  I know I have been touched.  And, I hope to spread the love.  I hope you feel it.  I can't wait to tell you more.  Now?  I need to change clothes and head to my last session.

Thank you for reading.  I really want to connect.

Gratefully,
Leslie,
Your Favorite Oxymoron

Surprise!!! I am at the...

NAMI Convention

Yup, that's right!  My mom and I flew down to San Antonio, Texas yesterday (yes, we flew!) in order to attend the National Alliance on Mental Illness.  And... that is why my ears are ringing right now.

         I have been PLANNING and PLANNING and PLANNING to blog about this AND everything else!  I swear to you!!!  I have unfortunately added more incomplete posts to the list... I may just copy and paste all of them on one blog and write to be continued on them!  Ha!  That is actually sounding like a great idea!  

So, ladies and gents, guess what?  My ringing and mind-blowing pressure in my ears has subsided!  And, I thank you... But, I thank ME too!!!  I remembered how important it is to step back and use a skill!  Now, that I remember how freakin' FREAKY this kind of stuff makes me... I will be heading in to a Special Presentation on Advancing Recovery with PLENTY of distress tolerance skills (especially grounding!) at the ready!  

And, speaking of presentations... First, I will be attending REVIVING PALIN OLD THERAPY: PROMOTING MENTALIZING IN RELATIONSHIPS

I will try to post as often as possible!  Even if it is just a pic or a quick note!  I have a feeling that I am going to be pretty busy (and TIRED!).

Oh, and thank you to the precious girl who asked if I had signed up for the Young Adults Session Guide!!!  The cutoff is 30... :-(  They were so cute!!!  And, they thought I was one of them!!!  Love it!

Your Favorite Oxymoron!

Leslie

Should you ever Opposite Action your Opposite action?

Alrighty... I have a very short time to tell you about a little issue I sometimes face.  I love people!  I love to play!  I love my family!  I love my friends!  I LOVE LIFE!

So, when I am not feeling "up to" an occasion... guess what?  My body takes over and I act opposite of my real feelings.

Today is Father's Day.  I LOVE MY DAD!  But, at this very moment... I am exhausted from the day I have already had!  So, what the heck?  My body goes in to overdrive and I am SUPER LESLIE! (and you should most definitely read that with that " da-da dat.da!" feel!)  Anyway, this SUPER LESLIE! can sometimes freak the blah blah blahblahblah out of people.  EVEN people who know me!  Even people who have seen it before!  It is confusing!  Heck!  It is confusing to me!  If I let it... it will completely take me over...  AND, I am there RIGHT NOW!

So, I am going to Opposite Action the heck out of my initial and absolutely programed and instinctual behavior!  And, I am going to try to act like a human being!

PLEASE!  Please, please, please... Please pray that I can pull this off!  It is one of my most difficult Opposite Actions.  It is automatic!  It is like I have no control over my spazzy body!  It is not fun for anyone!

Happy Father's Day to all of you daddio's out there!  It is a hard road for YOU!  A hard road to father a child... (for the rest of their lives!)  I thank you and encourage you to do the best you can, for that is all you can do.

Have a beautiful day!

Your Favorite Oxymoron,
Leslie Cooper

Thanks for EVERYTHING Pops!  I love you so very much!

I am a human being with Borderline Personality Disorder AND I have a lot more to me than that!

What is Borderline Personality Disorder?  check out this link for some information...
"
Please remember that I am human.  I am not perfect.  I was given free will.  My brain has been skewed by genetics and situations in my life.  I am constantly (even when it doesn't look like it...) working to be aware of my initial emotions before they take off without my permission!  Mindfulness.  I need a post about that.  I am sure I have started one...

Oh, and I have discovered a bit of a problem.  I will take suggestions or offers for assistance!  I think a tiny part of my issue with incomplete posts might have to do with a tiny issue I have with perfectionism.  Which I do know that perfection is pretty much impossible.  And possibly an issue I should work on a bit more.  But, one thing at a time people!  Come on! SO... (maria?) I am looking for an editor of sorts.  I would just like to have someone look over a post and point out obvious errors in grammar or punctuation.  AND I need someone who will not take the ME out of this... but possibly just keep a post more or less on the same subject.  Even a reminder that I wanted to expand on something I had spoken of earlier but cut off (hopefully) to get back to the point.  Huh.  What was the point to this post?  Seriously, I had NO idea the answer to that question until I reviewed the other text! haha... not funny...

Hope you are having a great start to the "Month AFTER National Borderline Personality Disorder Month!!!"  I heard in a movie once that it was good for a lady to be fashionably late...  I don't remember the exact parameters around the "fashionably" so I just stick with LATE!

Much warmth or cool (which ever you are in the mood for!) to all of you!

Leslie Cooper,
Your Favorite Oxymoron

I have 27 "almost finished" drafts in the lineup...

It seems that at least one person noticed... Okay, I'll take that back! Only one person called me out on it. I have an idea a few others will give me "some feedback" during our next converstations.

Why did I have to go and make an "Any Questions???" section on my site anyway??? Here was the Question for today: 

Why haven't I heard from you in a while? I haven't had anything good to read. Are you hiding? lol

(Oh and thanks, RD, for the addition of a compliment! Very wise of you! Hahaha)

The ANSWER??? That is a tough one. I am obviously struggling. I am obviously ashamed that I am STILL struggling.  

There is this song. I heard it first from Willie Nelson, but it was written by Paul Simon. It turns out many (many many) other artist have covered the song as well. It is a song I have wept with or to or because of and sometimes I've just listened to it when I knew I needed a good cry. It gives perspective. Perspective that EVERYONE has something to struggle with. The events in the recent past and most likely in the near future (as we are under a Tornado Warning right now)... remind me how much pain there is in this world. How much loss. Loss. Loss... It pains me just to type the word. Everyone experiences loss. The next step? That is the key! What do you do with the pain? What do you do with the empty space? Where do you go next? Who do you turn to?  

We ALL need community! You can't stand alone! In my Faith, I am forever blessed to have someone by my side. BUT!!! Even as I say that... I want to emphasize that (even my God wants this for me), COMMUNITY IS NECESSARY! Hiding or avoiding community is not a step towards ending the pain. You know what else is necessary? ASKING FOR HELP from your community AND if you don't yet have the "community"?  It's time to start building your own! And, RESTING when you are weak or weary is NECESSARY! That is on of the reasons we NEED community. We need people to call on when we are too weak or too lost! AND... Guess what? We need to be held accountable to others.  Treat ourselves as we would treat others as well as treating others the way you would want to be treated!  

So, yes. I let myself be swallowed up in LOSS. It is a deep place to get out of and takes more energy than I have at times. But, I am still working on it.  

And... My name is Leslie and I go off on tangents sometimes... But, that is why I haven't been finishing posts lately. I am not going to read this again until it is posted.  Otherwise... It could take another nudge before I post. Re-read once!  Going to try and limit myself from going over and over and over again!  Maybe I should just have y'all edit me? Just kidding!  I realize the time involved in that project! Hahaha! I am hopeful that this will get me back in the game!

Oh! And, the song I was referring to earlier! It is a beautiful song. A powerful song.  

I have links for a couple of the artists who have covered it... Amazing to hear the difference between each of them.

Simon & Garfunkel ~ American Tune

Paul Simon ~ American Tune

Willie Nelson w/ Paul Simon on guitar ~ American Tune

Indigo Girls ~ American Tune

Eva Cassity ~ American Tune

Darrell Scott ~ American Tune

Crooked Still ~ American Tune

Curtis Stigers ~ American Tune

Dave Matthews ~ American Tune

Anastasia Barzee ~ American Tune

Glen Phillips ~ American Tune

Storyhill ~ American Tune

Kurt Elling & Metropole Orchestra ~ American Tune

So... that might be more than a couple of versions? And a tiny bit of obsessive-ness showing... Anyway, praying for all of the LOSS being experienced these days. It seems like more all the time...

Next step? Shower and Therapy! Rain shower... and sheepish tornado preparation! Thank the Lord I didn't need to know what I was doing!!!

Good to visit again.

Your Favorite Oxymoron,

Leslie

Nothing to do but fall behind...

I was about to start this post out with a "Why" question... but, before I could even type it out, I knew the answer! So, I'll switch it up a little... Why is it that laziness breeds laziness? I mean, why do you need rest to live AND if you take it one minute too far it will only encourage slothliness? I need to have an invisible electric fence line that will *ZAP* me in to action just before I cross it! Otherwise it's just too easy to k.e.e.p.. o..n... s-l-o-w-i-n-g d--o--w--n... I also know that this very fact-o-business is one of the greatest reasons that Opposite Action is something I believe in. And, if I could just remember the concrete evidence that I have not only WITNESSED but EXPERIENCED... then I wouldn't even NEED to opposite action my butt out of here!

And, since I don't have a fence and I don't have my own personal cheerleader, I guess I am just going to have to do this myself.

Situations are usually beyond our control. Absolute control anyway. Oh boy, I suddenly remember promising myself something (and posting it here with the unfortunate fortunate result of rubbing it in my own face of reminding me of things I've already learned. DANG blabbermouth!!!) Oh yeah! That was part of a sentence!!! Ok. I remember saying that I would pick up the pieces of any "mess" I found myself in and try to make something beautiful. So... I can do that. I can try anyway. So, shouldn't the regular everyday uncomfortable situations be easier to deal with? Probably so. I probably am just not as motivated by the mundane as I am the catastrophes. I am kinda hating that I just admitted that one. :-P

Ok, so, right now. What to do right now? Do I go "all out"? "Genitals to the wall"!!! ;-) (sorry mom! sometimes I just can't stop myself! i am sure it is part of my "condition"... bawhahahhahah! see?!?!?!)

No. No, I DON'T sabotage myself by trying to do a bunch of things that I absolutely CAN NOT DO AT THIS TIME! No, I don't. I start right now. I go from this moment forth! And, thanks J.S. for the rock solid advice! I think I shall share it with the masses... My wise friend said, "If there's anything really easy you can do, do that... at least you can check something off your list." Because, interestingly enough, the truth that this post was based on is ALSO true here! When you make progress... you WANT to make more! It is fun gaining momentum!

This moment. It is a gift. I want to make the most of it. (now I've said it on the blog and I can rub my nose in it look back to it if I need a reminder.) :-P AND... Bedtime!

Thank you and GOOD NIGHT!
Leslie,
Your Favorite Moron Oxymoron

stop!!!